the slavish parade

Blogs by thegapshap

I came across a video on Facebook captioned “How to look Rich?” A plethora of thoughts spurted over my mind. This one-liner caption said all about how the people around are so concerned about emulating others. They want to look rich, act rich, speak rich, eat rich, shit rich. Earlier, I had read a book by Sudha Murthy in which she narrates an incident when she wore a cotton saree to the airport and a couple of women gossiped behind her back about her dressing sense and her “class” without knowing who she was.

SOCIAL MEDIA OR SHOW-OFF PARADE?

Social media is more of a social conduit. This flow of content skyrockets our urge to desire what others desire. We want to become what others are wanting to become. Never in the advertisements do they show a display picture of only the product. There is someone (a celebrity or model) wanting that product. Some unfulfilled desires give rise to anxiety, jealousy, anger issues, etc.

A study that included 143 students was conducted by the University of Pennsylvania. These students were divided into 2 random groups: One had unrestricted use of social media and the other was allowed social media interaction up to 10 minutes a day (to make the results more realistic and not hypothetical).

Results showed that the latter group saw an exponential decline in anxiety levels and self-doubts. 

MIMETIC DREAMS

Having read a blog recently, I came to know about mimetic desires. The desires are rarely innate to someone. Most of the desires can be termed mimetic ones. When you are hot on the heels of a celebrity or Instagram model, you tend to follow their purchasing habits. You want to get a similar haircut, flaunt the same Louis Vuitton bag as theirs. All these desires are mimetic. Taking another example, why do you want to follow a particular career path? This might be because you have a role model who achieved all the success in that occupation, so you want to trail down the same path.

While encountering the placements in my third year of graduation, I asked my friends why did they want to land up in a particular company or a particular profile. Mark my words, not a single person could give a valid reason. They all coined a common term, “This is the dream company.” But no one knew what they meant by a dream. This dream is a subjective subject that should be unique to everyone, yet ‘dream’ seemed to be so regular from their mouths. A dream can have a plethora of meanings: High initial salary package, growth opportunities, fewer working hours, fulfillment of self-actualization needs, etc. Their mimetic dream made my thoughts unsettled.

Coming back to where I started. How to look rich? That video content adduced that beige and light colors complemented by a wristwatch will make you look rich. It warned against wearing printed and detailed clothes. On delving deep into this I found a gazillion videos on “How to look rich ?” Such content is curated because people love to watch it. The glare of the glittery social media blinds millions of eyes. People are inclined towards the desires of others. A snap of Starbucks, a reel of a luxurious trip to Hawaii, a model attracting millions of views for just pouting with M.A.C lipstick on is the reason many feel agitated about their monotonous lifestyle.

Matshona Dhilwayo quoted “It is in the roots, not the branches, that a tree’s greatest strength lies.” Wearing beige color, clicking aesthetic pictures of the food you’re eating, smizing instead of smiling to look alluring, all this might look like a smorgasbord of happiness but at the end of the day, what you look at in the mirror is not you, it’s the “hollow layers”.

In this rat race of faking till you make it, you might end up being stranded.

HOW TO BE AUTHENTIC?

The word authentic is made up of “author”. How can someone be the author of their own life? Is it possible not to sail in someone else’s boat? I have tried to look for these answers for you.

  1. You can’t go cold turkey: Rome was not built in a day. Abandoning old habits take time. Don’t feel agitated if things don’t turn up for good according to your plans. Your friend might have landed a good job while you might be trudging the ladders to work with a startup. The apprehensions of showing the quantitative result to your parents, friends, relatives might seem like a nightmare but trust me losing yourself in the beginning only to find your better self, in the end, is far better than running in a rat race only to find yourself stranded.
  2. Beware of your social energy transmission: People whom you follow play a weighty role in your decisions, anxiety levels, selection of choices, etc. Structuring your social activity and taking the authority to decide whom you follow is important to be authentic. Rampant social activity can be mentally and emotionally straining. Our subconscious starts imprinting our personality on ours. Thus, quality over quantity!
  3.  It may not be the right time: You might not have met the love of your life and have your apprehensions as you enter your 30s. You might be slogging day and night to clear the NEET exam only to find others living the best of their lives while you are all blood, sweat, and tears. Waiting for the right time doesn’t matter, how you wait does. Time will pass, the right time will come at its own pace, how patiently you wait for that right time is what makes you wiser.
  4. Align mimetic dreams and authenticity: Even if your dreams are mimetic, your path to them should be authentic. Look for the reasons why you want to be at the place where your role model is right now. The world’s got a slew of ways to reach a goal. Find yours!

“A star does not compete with other stars around it; it just shines.”- Matshona Dhliwayo

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